All posts filed under “Life”

suck_my_shit
September 1, 2014

It’s my party and I abruptly quit my job if I want to

Two weeks ago I turned 30.

Also, I quit my job. Not on the exact same day and not without having a plan B (FYI: I’m now working for Shopalike.it – YAY!), but it did nevertheless feel sudden and unsettling.

Over time the company changed names, faces, direction and pretty much everything you can think of, but I worked there for almost four years (way longer than my longest relationship!) and leaving was bittersweet.

What happened is that I got interviewed, was given the new job, resigned and BAM – two weeks later I was out of the door.

Since I haven’t had the time to properly mourn, I decided to write this post. It’s about the weirdest stuff I found on my very messy Desktop on my last day at the old job.

It feels like the boring flashback episode of a 90s sit-com, but what can you do about it?

A thoughtful (and creepy) Valentine’s Day Card

valetine day card

The day I considered a career change and researched hairdressers specialized in horses

Read More

catherine_b
August 18, 2014

Catherine B – We Children of Alexa’s Food Court

In the beginning was Kreuzberg.

With its cozy restaurants, hipster cafés and mandatory vegetarian alternatives, this district of Berlin was the garden of Eden of lunch opportunities and thus a perfect location for any office. With an infinite range of healthy options, doing the right thing always came natural to me and my co-workers.

Moving to Mitte, right after that, was the real game changer. Whilst this district can seduce you with its neat streets and beautiful buildings, some parts of it don’t make the hunt for food an enjoyable process. On our first day at the new office, me and my friend Catherine wandered through a desert of hot concrete and pretty facades in search of something to eat.

We felt like Jesus: hungry, fatigued and about to be tested in the Wilderness.

After 40 days and 40 nights (actually we have a 1 hour lunch break, so it must have been 10 minutes) the devil appeared in front of us in all its tempting charme disputable architectural choices.

Alexa

Alexa by Nicolas Nova on Flickr

 

Alexa, one of the biggest malls in Berlin, whispered in our ears promises of high-in-carbs delicious lunches. We knew our diet was being tested and remembered that when Satan offered Jesus all the kingdoms of the World and their splendor, J was like “I’m fine, thanks.”.

Of course the “splendor” part couldn’t possibly include air conditioning, frozen yogurt or 20 minutes on an armchair that gives you a full body massage. And above all, it certainly didn’t include a food court. Read More

snuggie_sleepsnacking
July 2, 2014

Sleepsnacking – An Alarming Trend

The Disorder

The term Sleepsnacking indicates the uncontrollable urge to bolt down junk food while asleep.

Sleepsnackers can be completely unaware of their disease, sometimes for years.

Typical signs that a person might be a sleepsnacker are a subtle taste of chocolate, honey barbecue chips, Ben&Jerry Banana Ice Cream or peanut butter in their mouth upon awakening. Sometimes, even all of the above. To resist the temptations, products like a CBD Oil might be much healthier alternatives.

The Numbers

According to a Mongolian study, the number of people affected by Sleepsnacking has increased tremendously during the past 10 years and almost doubled itself in only five years.

The trend looks scary and unstoppable.

graph_unreal

Of course if we take out fictional characters like Liz Lemon or Ralph Winchester and anybody who’s not a celebrity (’cause why should we care?) the situation looks under control.

graph_real

Case Study Read More

barcelona
March 17, 2014

When They Look at Us

Do you ever wonder how people perceive your relationships?

Sometimes I meet couples that look like a match made in heaven and they end up lasting less than a British tv series.

And then there’s times in which I think the members of the couple have too strong personalities/too few in common/too different lifestyles to really have a future together, but inexplicably everything works out fine, happily ever after and all.

So I’ve been wondering for some time what’s the image that Stephen and me project to the outside world when we’re together and I think I finally found the answer.

I was going through the pictures of our recent trip to Barcelona and it struck me: clearly, what people see when they look at us is

a cute hipster and his dumb cousin.

Here’s why:

barcelona arc de triompf

Barcelona – Arc de triompf

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November 24, 2013

Carbs on Carbs

If we’re friends, colleagues or you work at Back-Factory, you’re probably aware of the fact that I’m a Carbs enthusiast.

Let’s face it: carbohydrates stick with you – more precisely in your thighs and butt – longer than friends and lovers; they ARE one of the few certainties in our lives and we need to honour them by baking and eating cookies and cakes and muffins and schinken-kaese croissants several times a week.

carbs on carbs

I’ve always fancied them, as far as I remember, but I think dating an American for the past year has been a game changer: he expanded my horizons and showed me new possibilities of use which made my love for high-in-carbs food stronger and stronger. Read More

November 16, 2013

HalLoveween

As you could probably already guess, I belong to that vast group of people who tend to have a bipolar behaviour towards love.

When I’m not in a relationship and I see people on the street holding hands my first desire is to shoot them with a rifle and barf on their descendants (all things that would be totally acceptable in an episode of Game of Thrones or, say, Russia but for some reason not in Berlin) .

Being annoyed by PDA is not the problem, though. The real problem comes when I start being in a relationship myself and experience a change of heart combined with a slight loss of lucidity, which in the past may or may not have me facing legal threats and false accusations of stalking.

As if the second date were really too soon to change your Facebook profile picture to a photo of you and your loved one.

Having sex.

Anyway, when Halloween came, some weeks ago, the most normal thing for me was dressing up as my boyfriend…

halloween costume

…and shoot a video in which I impersonate him. Read More

September 14, 2013

The Barbie Dreamhouse Near Death Experience

At first I didn’t want to write about my Barbie® Dreamhouse Experience. I wanted to bury it in me till the day I’d be able to afford professional help.

Then I realized how many unaware followers Barbie has and I can’t stay silent anymore. I need to save them. I need to write about it, even if it means reliving that childhood trauma you pretend was just a bad dream.

Dramatic Pause.
Flashback.

barbie dream house experience

Barbie®’s house was built overnight next to the ugliest shopping mall in Berlin. Just like that. We woke up and there it was, like the castle of a very gay Dracula screaming “I’m in town, bitches!”. I didn’t want to go there, actually, but every time I’d pass by I felt the dark pink side of the force calling me, seducing my soul from afar with its sober yet fascinating elegance. Plus: a giant fountain shaped like a girly shoe. How could I resist?! Read More

July 31, 2013

The Most Exciting Afternoon of our Lives

Warning! The following is a humorous text about the day the royal baby made his first public appearance. If you’re looking for REAL news, you might wanna check out the Guardian

 

About one week ago I went visiting my boyfriend at his place and found him staring at his laptop, catatonic, giving no sign of reaction. At first I thought he got Stendhal syndrome from his Titanic Desktop background, again, but then realised something epic and remarkable was about to happen.

royal baby first appeareance cnn

Main Title: Royal couple and prince to appear any minute
William and Kate were about to exit that very door with their newborn baby and CNN was documenting everything. What a special event! Thank God I caught it on time, I know I would have killed myself if I had missed it! Read More

tickle featured
June 9, 2013

Tickle season 2: we’re almost there

I can’t hide my secret identity any longer.

I am the executive producer/screenwriter/director of the critically unacclaimed tv series Tickle.

Tickle‘s second season will start in a couple of weeks on the CW, a network famous for supporting, producing and broadcasting series that are full of crap potential.

Here is an interview I did some time ago, in which I look back at the first season and speak about the future of the whole series.

Read More